Bad influence!

If you can’t do good for someone then also don’t do something heartbreaking for them or something from which they won’t be able to over come themselves.

If you can not be the flower of their life then also don’t try to be the thorns in their life.

If you can’t be the example of humanity then also don’t show up the negativity of yours.

If you can not be the God then atleast be a Human ,  don’t be the devil , don’t be the monster of someone’s life. 

If you can’t apply the goodness of someone or follow their good habits then also don’t adapt their bad habits. 

If you can’t help anybody then also don’t create obstacles in their path. 

If you can not say few good words about someone then also don’t spew such things which can’t be revert back.

If you can not say the truth , then also don’t lie to someone.

It will be better if you will stay quiet but atleast don’t mix the poison in people’s life. 

And if you say something then first understand and do know the consequences of what you’re saying. 
If you can’t help someone to let them stay then also don’t try to put fire in their huts.

If you can’t do dressing on the wounds then also don’t tease the wound and do not make it spread or get severe with time. 

If you can’t share someone’s pain then don’t be the reason behind that pain.

If you can’t be happy with someone then please don’t linger there. 

If you feel lonely in the whole crowd then be happy all alone. 

If you can not love someone then also don’t hate them for no reason. 

If you can’t be the lantern then also don’t be the reason of someone’s darkness.

If you can not offer them the citrus then also be afraid of giving someone poison.

If you can’t make someone comfortable then also don’t give them any stress because they are already fragile. 

If you can’t be the flower of their life then also don’t be like the thorns.

Don’t be like thorns.

On the path of truth , there may be thousands of problems but Yes In between the thorns their grows a flower.

Just like the sun , burn yourself with success and brighten up the whole world.

Be a Human being first.

Please Be a Human being first.
“And don’t be the bad influence.

Otherwise, someday you will also find someone who will do the same things mentioned above which will make you feel tensed. ” 

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Your princess loves you dad.

My dad don’t arrive at ease quotidianly;
He linger in his job obligation typically.
Yesterday, when he reverted home;
He brought happiness for me.

My brother waved at him and continue drink ing his citrus;
Whereas I gave him chilled water with politeness
Me and my dad watched news amidst chatted;
While my mother cooked food in ecstatic mood.

Breaking news your dine is ready, said mom;
My dad mimicked but looked maelstrom.
After dinner, me and my brother had fight;
Dad, he is beating me, I yelled in cold night.

He took my side and scold my brother;
Your princess loves you dad, I murmur

And they left. 

Stop being fooled with everything again and Stop doing amendment of the loss for which you are not at all responsible and when you know clearly about the other person that he or she has been gone. You know that they will not come back until and unless they will need you again or they will feel like that because they can not refuel you the way you fueled them when they needed the emtional support and a back bone which stands by them and subsides the other pain and losses which have been keen to them from so long. 

Take a deep breathe and then think about those people whom your mind recalled just by reading the very first abstract.

Let’s begin. 

It was just an irony that I couldn’t understand that the ultimate healer of your heart actually kills all of us and you did the same to me. This is not to certify any specific person and nobody is going to hang them with a noose or eventually going to strangle them.

 No , it is for all those people who have left and could never understand what actually a mental and emotional break down means or how does it feel. It kills all the parts of your body gradually but severely. 

It is like the high grade cancer , about which you don’t get to know earlier but when you get to know things get out of your hand.  I never realised the pain which I was giving to my eyes by just looking at the same thing again and again , by teasing my eyes so deliberately by the tears which were not necessary. As an action or normal function of body , removal of waste water in the form of tears is one thing but crying for something which can not be yours and which doesn’t want to be yours is just so pathetic but , Yes everybody should laugh at this because which we attract these kind of things and people as well once in your life. Now laugh out loud. Haha!

Deep inside your heart , there lives a person who’s unaware of all the heartbreaks and mental pain which you have been receiving since time because that person is such a pure soul and can not think badly about anybody even about those who never gave a shit about them. 

Everything has it’s peak level you know and when the pain crosses it’s limits it doesn’t send the impulses to brain because then it send impusle to your heart and the person who lives there so peacefully that nobody can break the cage of his goodness suddenly awakes and somehow finds courage to speak what’s right for that specific moment. So as it did for me. We can not willingly spew unnecessary or even necessary things to people who’ve done bad for us because we have not been gifted with that in our upbringing. So people like me can only speak their heart like this and I also have choosen this for everybody who feels the same when reads these words and relates them with themselves. 

To all those people , Here is a Deep message for you all. 
“I have failed.

I have been brutally broken and lost just like a broken star.

But those tears and those hugs of yours ,  have been saved safely in my heart and the tears and pain of yours also belongs to me not to you because somehow I have accepted them so nicely. 

My dreams which I saw has been flown away with my tears.

All the lovely moments has a special place in my heart only.

But you never understood my love and pain. Never.
Alone ? Yes all alone.

I have spent my time all alone crying and have seen tears falling apart from my eyes second by second. 

I struggled and I survived but you never paid efforts to see whether I am okay or not and you never called my name or saw my shivering hands when we shaked hands. 

There’s a deep loneliness nothing else which surrounds me from all around. 

And I talk about you by myself only.

You never understood my love.

You never understood my pain.

Even though you also loved me but still you didn’t understand because you took your love as a contract not as a commitment and promise of togetherness. 

But people still call me your shadow and I feel lost in the whole crowd and I say when people ask me I feel so lonely without you because you are more like a part of me.

The very common saying that “the one who breaks your heart actually lives in your Heart” is just so true. 

It’s your loss not mine that you couldn’t love me back.

And I can not pay my every piece of innocence and emotions as ransom. 

Actually it’s good somewhere that You didn’t linger here and didn’t hold onto what was precious because I couldn’t have survived with lot’s of love. 

But if you would have seen all this from my eyes then things would have been different. 

You would have known that this was something special , surprisingly very special.

 I only felt gleem and pitty for this , that you didn’t even try for an ounce of it. You couldn’t ask me to stay when I actually broke up with myself. 

But it’s Okay.

I actually wouldn’t have survived with this much weightage of love.

I never thought of meeting you like this , and though I will not be able to be with you.

Don’t worry I will never hold any grudges and no complaints but true blessings and love for you will always be there. 

And now nothing had left which should be spoken.

You did what you want.

I don’t know if I will be alive or not but I hope you will think of changing your answer once when I will not be there roaming near by your house. 

And will also remember me in the days of darkness , in the very tough days and in the days when nobody will offer you a company to rely on or a shoulder to cry on. ”
With lot’s of love. 

A very big thankyou to those people who have made me strong for handling these things a way easier than before but they also didn’t prepare me for not being fooled like this always. 

Okay Bye. 

Hurt – Break. 

There is nothing so weird that you feel distraught about every simple thing occurring in the backdrop.

You don’t usually detach yourself from anything or anyone but when you stick by your decision or merely give a thought to it you feel so frightened.

But when you take a moment to rethink about your decision and the people who have left you drowning alone  , Do you even realise how frantically you have been treating yourself , how badly you have scratched your soul and how keen you have been when you have felt like you are done now but you were one step closer to the brain haemorrhage. 

And what about the one who has gifted you the Hurt – Breaks. How rude you are that you can’t even thank them huh. Sarcasm laughs on you. Yes , it should be called as Hurt – Break because people actually don’t think twice *they don’t* , they hurt you , break you completely and they break your way of living and you keep dying in the black clouds of their words that they are doing all this for your good. Oh! My Goodness. You know what does that good consist of ? Anxiety , Depression , unwanted thoughts , a second thought and bad thinking for yourself , your self esteem , your dignity and everything related to you which used to seem so special to you. In which you used to take pride but on the very next moment you see those things draining and yourself falling apart. They say self love is needed and that’s actually more than necessary but at some point they push you to the hatred that belongs to only you. People don’t leave the person because they find someone better than you always , they also leave you when they are done with you or the gestures you were providing them until they get pissed off and when you will utter a single word and raise your voice for yourself ,  against them and in your favour.

Even though you were the one who provided them flame but still you were the one who was blamed. 

You only needed a path to be paved , your staggering feets needed a road enriched with love to travel on. 

You needed somebody to pamper you like the cricketers when they pamper and hug the bowler so tightly and surrounds him from everywhere when he gets a wicket. But no , for you people have only seen the demotivated and lost you when you don’t get a wicket and you fail to catch the bowl even though you fell down on the ground and stretched all your limbs to do so. Just like you stretch your arms and pour the ocean of love on someone who isn’t worthy for a cup of it. 

You always tried to be on time and to give them the time which they expected and you wanted to cherish some moments but destiny didn’t agree and you always got late like the pizza delivery boy and that’s why they did not deliver the love which you were supposed to get. 

Anyway , Just Laugh Out Loud because this isn’t happening for the very first time and mentally exhausting you. 

You are childhood of birds and teenage life of flowers but they didn’t notice the upbringing they only took advantage of your goodness that’s the fragrance of a flower which was soothing their soul and then crushed it. But you are a flower which even provides fragrance to those hands who crushes it. You are the rose of clay , they broke you but could not destroy you and the true intentions and your goodwill towards yourself which is safe in your heart of Gold and stardust soul. 

And that large hearted person does not hold any grudges , devastation , hatred and negativties or any bad relations with anyone but hold love for even those people who has erased your chapter from their life and also wanted to make your life’s slate blank but little did they know that you are stoned but you will still be with them like a pillar if they need support. 

Being stoned doesn’t mean you don’t feel anything. Actually , your blood vessels must be fighting with each other , your secondary emotions might be penetrating the layer of your fake smile. But the Hurt Breaks have made you taut and and timid at the same time. Thank them for re building your blocks and making you feel the reality of life. And do not blame them for anything ever because they also have loved you temporarily and you were the one who has chosen them. They didn’t knock your door to enter in your life and even if they did then you were not supposed to let them enter if you knew all this before. The little things and phrases which I have mentioned before has made you an old soul yet a bold soul and now you earnestly welcome and thank those people who has greeted you with these hurt breaks and has helped you to re ignite the feeling of being miserable all the time because now you are physically alive when you see yourself in the mirror and wave. But mentally you are stagnant! Because physically it will end when the wound will no longer ache. 

Sometimes!

Sometimes , I feel like am I even Alive ? And the next moment I want to live for thousands of years. 
Sometimes , I don’t feel like even surrounded by my shadow but the very next moment I feel like the whole crowd is just and staring at me serving me the attention which I don’t need or deserve either. 
Sometimes , I don’t even wish to see a sun ray entering my room by reflecting the window of my room that is breaking the consistency of  darkness , But I also want to brighten up my life like the sunrays to dusk till dawn. 
Sometimes , even the simplest situation makes me feel bizarre but the next moment even the tangled ear phones whispers in my mind that Yes! You can do it. 
Sometimes , even my body weight makes me feel unwieldy but on the other hand it encourages me to fly and walk through the sky fearlessly. 
Sometimes , actually I feel have been the burden on everybody but the next moment I easily get fooled by the love and affection they show towards me. 
Sometimes , even the handshake done by the person who’s close to my heart seems like a grope and the next moment I eagerly want someone to hold me for hours for the perch of mind and soul. 
Sometimes , even the truthful sentence spoken by me seems vague because saying truth and being alone in return does not count for anything but the next moment it baffles my brain like how people feel so comforted with the beautifully wrapped lie. 
Sometimes , even the nightmare are sources of love because they show you the realistic things or scenarios that is better than the dreams and commitments of togetherness done by wrong or with a wrong person.
Sometimes , the story of my life seems like I’ve published the book of unwritten emotions but the next moment deep inside only I know that I am the ocean of love but people don’t like to dive in. 
Sometimes , Infeel pitty for the lion how it roars and makes sure that everyone is scared of him but the real superhero is the mouse who doesn’t act timid and dies off without any fear. 
Sometimes , I even control ny sneezes nust to take care of the peace and of the embarrassment but the next moment I just want to scream for as long as I can. As long as I feel all the veins and arteries tearing apart. 
Sometimes , even the deep breathe scares me and sometimes the acoustic howling of dogs at mid night provides soothing relief the stunned Heart. 
Sometimes , I amend to cooperate with the loss which people had because of me but then I remember I was the one who was left with a befuddled Body. 
Sometimes I feel like Do I confabulat ? Bt the next moment I know I never had such good memories or memory lane to remember or to provide me nostalgia.
Sometimes , I wonder if the birds also cry but the next moment it triggers me that stones can’t speak but can hurt people why ?
Sometimes , I feel lime I’ve matured with times and the savagery I’ve shown towards the heartbreaks but the next moment I want to relive the perks of being a Kid , a kid who has died but the dead body still breathes within. 

Oh! It’s Changing. 

It’s human psychology that we somehow correlate ourselves from the surroundings. Be it beautiful or ugly , good or bad , relatable or literally irrelevant, pathetic or the scenario which provides over whelming gestures. We actually don’t only  relate ourselves from the surrounding but we start living the moment for which we are there and keep fineries on the blanket of dreams which have seen. We start misinterpreting such things but for few seconds we actually live like nothing is going to happen and everything falls into line for that time. But the dreams start vanishing just by the time we move to different surrounding. 

‘Surroundings’ and ‘Weathers’ , Yes they cause a lot of difference in our lives by changing and maintaining their cycles. Though Surroundings can still be consistent that is they stay at some particular time and we can be with them as long as we wish to. But the simple joys and pleasures which weathers provide is something which we can not replace with any other thing or phenomena of the nature. 

The actual response which changing weathers expect from us is that they don’t come for forever so we should hug them like anything. Cover yourself in the arms of some temporary relief and cry everything out. If it’s rainy then also allow your eyes to get wet and let all the tears come out so that it won’t rain on thise days which are not rainy in your life. 

If it’s a sunny day then let your body feel some sun rays and fresh air which trees sprinkles on you by inhaling the carbon dioxide in and exhaling oxygen out for your survival. If it’s very cool then wear a leather jacket , a pair of boots and everything which makes you feel warmth and enjoy the life but shivering in the cool breeze and having some tea with the fortunate of not getting drunk after that. 

Everything which we do with the changing weathers provides soothing effect to our souls and we somehow have adapted these things so deliberately. 

But when we a take moment to think like how does all these phenomenon takes place specially rain.

Like the stars in the universe asks for a holiday that’s why rain occurs because we don’t see any of stars when it rains heavily. 

Does the flowers send impulse to the clouds that you need to weep and pour some water droplets onto them because they need to look even beautiful and to spread even More fragrance or want to make the surroundings even more amazing by their presence. Does the crops actually speaks that they need some water to grow , to fulfil the farmer’s needs. 

Is there anybody who sobs that’s why rain occurs ? 

Does the soil pleeds that it need to have some patience so it should rain heavily and then it will spread the unbeatable fragrance and the special unseen pores of soil’s fragrance but beautiful. 

This all seems so special when we actually see these things and think about this so deeply. Such things are beautiful genuinely and naturally. We can even enjoy rainy days just by staying in and preventing our cloths from getting wet and shoes dirty. Just sitting near by the window of your room , when it’s almost evening but it seems dark everywhere because the heavy clouds which are ready to leak water have covered the sky from all over. It’s dark because it has to take away all the polluted things with it at the end. But how does that matter to us? It actually matter a lot. We think of rain drops like the opportunities , hopes of happiness , positivity. Every rain drop when touches your soul it makes you feel even fresh. 

From sitting aside your window and listening to your favorite music , that moment seems so special because it melts your all pain away for some time and makes you believe that there are other beautiful things in this world which should seek your attention and you should take a break from your obstacles and depressive thoughts for once. To give some space to those unwieldy thoughts and live the moment. And let your eyes get sunken and feel all the sensations which are necessary. Let the rain drops coming inside from the window make your soul pure and happy for a while. 

Just like the umbrella which helps you in rainy days , You have to become that umbrella and only you can be that shield to yourself Because expecting anything from anybody will always leave you with full of disappointments. And then it won’t make you feel teary any more and will left you with only good vibes and realistic thoughts. The screaming and unwanted noises of the world will not matter to you for that specific moment and you will only listen to sound of rain drops falling on the ground sounding so good and providing a heartfelt emotion. 

The only moral we can say we get from all this is that we have to rescue ourselves from the things which we want. 

Just like the changing weathers and the First ray of sun which comes after a very rainy day and the comfort which it provides that Yes a good day begins. 

Just like the rain drops gives birth to many things and relive the crops , pleases the butterflies , the dance for which birds die can only be done at that time. 

Yes , it change and some changes are for good. Everything has it’s own beauty only when you can relate it with you and Always learn from the things with whom you relate yourself. 

And the battle of becoming a good person begins here itself. 

Save for Tomorrow.

Respect her existence since the first day you conceive her not from the day you realise whether she’s a baby girl or he’s a baby boy. Do you know that first that he or she is a baby and most probably a living being and after knowing this you can judge his or her existence and trajectory of their life whether they deserve to live or not. Just because they can not take their life decision at that time , don’t spew your decisions on them and don’t make them a dead soul without even letting them feel what is living a life called. 

Yes , even now she feels so pitty when she talks about this that she’s not alive anymore. 

The moist of the very good morning , the pleasant gesture of a newbie , the amazing yawning which makes other people feel energetic , that immature laugh of that baby girl which she gives when she sees something inappropriate or some inappropriate people because she can not distinguish between what’s good or bad. The star which has the ability to sprinkle happiness everywhere just by existing. The girl who always hides her pain to make others happy , to please them and to wipe their invisible tears off. The innocence and pride of the streets where she roams around and the blessings of every old age people’s heart. The pure pearl which will fall down if you will not lift it up carefully and with the good intentions as well. The warm hug of the winters and the cool breeze of burning summers. The only reason for which society blooms. Like the filled watergun with coloured water. 

Like the irreplaceable and with no expectations but bound with love , yes she keeps relations like that. The stars which can twinkle without a night. The peace of listening to a flute sitting in the shadow of a banyan tree. The river directly flowing from the mountains and draining into colourless yet colourful ocean. The talk with your grand parents or sometimes the pep talk of an idiot child.

 Oh! I got carried away. She murmured.

 Did I say too much about her ? No , she wasn’t talking about her only at that time. Actually she was reading the unwritten letters which would have been written but they did not allow those hearts to even beat then how could we expect their lips to move or to speak anything. Even after all this , what did she expect from you ? Just two complete minutes of your schedule but you didn’t even think a second while erasing her life’s theme. Whereas you should know that You need her at every point of your life , be it fair or unfair. 

From marrying a girl to make her pregnant for maintaining the consistency of a family and respect. From keeping the knot of a Rakhi on every brother’s wrist to the rituals which can only be performed by  her sister at his marriage. From taking care of a family’s reputation which can only be done by her to saying that a female is the only source of money or a living goddess. From the true love and warm blessings of grandmothers to the first cry of that baby girl in doctor’s arms. 

But wait! That would have been possible if you had not choosen to abort or to shatter all the hopes and dreams which she tied for her in her mother’s womb itself. Why do people only talk about natural resources that use them wisely otherwise next generation will not be able to take the advantage of them. Sustain them! It’s so screaming to hear but yes that is even more important for them but killing someone without she has seen the world even she didn’t open her eyes. But she was listening to everything through her mother’s heart as she was connected to her only naturally or emotionally. They sealed her lips even without letting her learn how to speak. They didn’t allow her heart to even pump completely. They paralysed her mind which was so fresh and was composed of no tension and depression. They fractured the staggering limbs and the rolled body who thought nobody can cause her harm because she is protected by her mother’s body and she’s in the safest zone and that’s the uterus of her mother. But little did she know that her mumma would be the first person to say let’s not make it or she doesn’t want to give birth to that child. She felt like that there’s no difference between a rape victim or an aborted child. Rape victims only feel grope and pain whether that baby felt everything at it’s peak and lost her life at that time only. Though her heart was beating till when they didn’t destroy her. A child lost her life just because his daddy did not exchange a Y chromosome instead of X. Phew! She took a deep breathe and waved to the star waiting for her to reach there because they two shared the same pain. It was not her mistake at all but she has been paying for that since time , and yes she has to pay for that even in future too because they can not change their mentality about her , they can’t stop being judgemental about her. No they can’t. 

Though she was dreaming this all in her mind because when she and her other partners were being distinguished like who will be going in which family. Her friends taught her that you need be strong and the dead souls or souls which now even live peacefully in world of stars and in heaven shared their experiences like you will be joining us soon with her. But she denied and laughed simultaneously and said Huh! Don’t joke around me , your parents and relatives must not be humans I guess. But little did she know that she will be served with the same thing. The moment when she fell asleep , she was so comfortable talking to the walls of uterus and thanking them to keep her safe there and the moment she woke up , she was so shocked to see the same partners again. And then they all laughed at her altogether.

Though , her parents and all the parents and people who are doing this she personally thanked them. Because it’s even great not to give the child birth if you can not understand her importance in one’s life and also there’s no point of not holding up the child in your arms if you don’t wanna have the child. It’s not about food , shelter and clothing all time. She must have feed your souls by her love but you didn’t even let her hands cover your fingers when you would have hold her up. She was hoping that at some point they all will realise that the world needs more girls not more petrol or other resources first. She still gave blessings to her mom and dad and said Take care my Beloved parents. 

And then she stopped dreaming and fell into a deep sleep for forever.